If you're gonna land yourself in the clink, do it early on when you've got nothing better to do.

We've heard that some people are against play yards because they feel like it's cruel to the baby, like you're putting your child in baby jail when they haven't done anything wrong. But that's ridiculous if you think about it.

The whole point of jail is to punish a person by taking away their freedom, but babies never had any freedom to begin with! Now before you go starting your online petitions and staging your protests to support free-range babies, think about the logistics.

Babies are helpless. They can't walk, talk or feed themselves. And even if they could, they know literally no one besides you. So where are they going to go? To trouble town, that's where. So put your baby in a play yard, for their safety and entertainment.

I mean it's not like you're making them wear shock collars ... although that's not the worst idea for some kids. Oh c'mon. A little zappy zap never hurt anyone.

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